10 steps to get to the heart of your message

May 4th, 2015

I confess.

Sometimes when I write this blog, my inner demons get in the way and I forget that I have anything of value to say.

Then I realize–hey I’ve heard my clients say THAT before. Like a hundred million times.

Is that you?
You have this passion but you can’t find the words?
You have so much to say, but you can’t seem to say anything?

I get it. It’s tough. When you’re trying to connect with your genius and your mind turns to mush, it’s hard to know which direction to turn.

I’m gonna come clean and share the most widely used 10-step process to get to the heart of your message. Here it is:

1. Turn on some music and dance.

2. Stand in front of the fridge and stare for a while. Eat an olive.

3. Check Facebook. Watch a video about how someone else is doing amazing things to make the world a better place and feel bad about yourself cuz you’re not doing those things.

4. Eat a bag of chips and decide you’ll start that cleanse tomorrow.

5. Listen to someone else’s talk and have a little comparison attack about how they’re brilliant and you’re not.

6. Admit that you didn’t actually turn on the music and dance for number 1. You just imagined yourself doing it so you beat yourself up for not dancing.

7. Think about how your competitor probably actually does turn on the music and decide she’s way cooler than you.

8. Stare hopelessly into the empty bag of chips.

9. Decide you should have kept your day job.

10. Curl up under your desk and cry.

Oh wait. Bzzzt. Sorry. Wrong list. Widely used maybe, but not very effective. Even though…um…we’ve all been there, right? I know I have.

Here’s the good news: There is another way!

You can skip all that. You’re not alone. You’re not a loser. Even on your loser days, you’re still completely human and you do have a message worth sharing.

Try this list instead:

1. This time really turn on some music and dance. Don’t just imagine it. Do it. If you don’t wanna dance, at least get up out of your chair and stretch, jump, shake, shimmy…just to get out of your head and into your body. Make some noise too. Really do it. Your body and your voice know exactly what to say!

2. Go right to the center of the stuck place let the stuck place do the talking. There’s a lot of gold there. Don’t sweep it under the rug. The only way out is through, a wise friend once told me, so give the stuck place a voice and keep right on going. (It’s how I started this blog post and, well, I kinda like the shadow list that got me going…)

3. Take your clothes off. Metaphorically speaking that is. Tell the truth. What do you really want to say? If you didn’t have to impress anyone, or sell anything, or Be Perfect, what would you say? Or, go ahead, actually take them off if that helps you get to the naked truth.

4. Set a timer and talk non-stop for 1 minute. Ask yourself:
If you had 1 minute to tell the world what YOU are here to do, what would you say?
Set it again: What’s the one thing you can’t stop talking about?
Set it again: What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
Set it again: When did you face an obstacle and prevail?

5. Give yourself permission to create a Shitty First Draft (in the words of Anne Lamott). Just start getting a bunch of words on the page (or the screen, or the voice recorder, as the case may be). “Let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.” That’s the best way to get the REAL YOU out there, the story that is only yours to tell. Trust yourself and GO.

Whatever you do, don’t do it alone. It’s way too easy for the self-doubt demons to come creeping back in. Call someone up and give them your 1-minute talk. Or schedule a chat with me and let’s talk about how to turn that idea into a client-attracting, uniquely-you, change-the-world TALK.

Till then, leave a comment in the comments below. What do you do when the self-doubt demons attack? Feel free to tell us the shadowy parts, too.